It's time to focus on me

Peter and I broke up this weekend and it was a long time coming. I am single for the first time in 5 yrs and I don't know what to do. I know that I need to move on with my life. I guess I am going back to MN just like I always wanted to do. Right now I feel completely empty and worthless. I am 31 yrs old, I dont have a home or a car.I don't know what to do anymore. I should be leaning on God and I am trying my best but what if I am scared of what his plan is? I am going to hang out with a great spiritual friend Kara today so I can just cry it out..Im sure Im such a winner right now lol!

Cook Family Reunion

So this past weekend we went up to Red Lake for my moms side of the family reunion. I was a little nervous at first but had a great time. I actually spent a lot of time with my dad, something I never thought I would get the chance to do. We played slots together and I even got to see his house! I got to meet my sister Chele and brother Bryan. They are both very nice and I hope I can build a relationship with them in the future. Id love to take a trip up there this fall to hang out with them again but idk if I  ready for that yet. 

Feeling fat

I stepped on the scale today and I'm back at 160 lbs like I was at my one year anniversary. I need to lose 30 lbs. All of my clothes from last summer don't fit so I barely have anything to wear. I just want to cry! Stop feeling sorry for yourself right? 

Lazy Saturday

It's my one day off and I'm enjoying it by doing nothing. I'm trying to catch up on my shows but my dogs won't let me!

On my way back from FL

Here I sit in FIRST CLASS on my flight back from Orlando. I had the best time visiting my aunt and uncle. I was sick the whole time and the last day I was finally able to taste food again. We had only one warm day and we took advantage of it and sat at the pool. We both have a nice burn/tan. I really enjoyed myself there and it makes me realize what is important to me now. I am going to have to make some big changes that will put me first. One thing I have to change right away is my eating habits. I have started to gain weight back and that's not good! I am going to have to go grocery shopping ASAP when I get home. Well I better get started :)