I recently found files from my old computer. This pic was taken right after my nephew Boston was born in 2005. Can you tell how uncomfortable I was being in that pic? Being the biggest person, you didn't sit in the middle on the couch, you sat at the end. Do you see how NOT close I am sitting to my sisters? These are my sisters, the people I grew up with, who loved and supported me. They never tried to make me feel different but I knew I was. They were so pretty and skinny. We all ate the same but I gained it all. I am not saying please feel sorry for me, I am saying that it's not their fault for the way God made me. I think growing up obese, was the only way God could get me to accept others. I honestly think that if I was skinny my whole life, I would be harsher and make fun of people. That picture looks like you photo shopped me in it, it doesn't even look like I was wanted in that pic. It was a happy time because it was Boston's shower but I can tell that I was not happy.
One thing that I didn't expect to happen was the way I notice overweight people. It's kind of like when you get a new car or rental and then you see that car everywhere. I was at the mall with my mother this past weekend and I have always loved to people watch. I notice the way people eat now and how others treat them differently. I didn't have blinders on, I knew I was obese but I see how people treat you when you are shopping. It's as if being obese makes you terminally ill and it's something you can never come back from. Now when I go shopping, people ask me all the time if I need help. When I used to go into Victoria's Secret, no one would ask me for help. Why should they? I couldn't fit their clothes right? It's really sad. No one can prepare for that type of discrimination.
I look at obesity as a disease and food was my addiction. Going thru the surgery was one of the hardest things I have EVER done in my life. I do not regret the decision I made to have the surgery and I am thankful I went through what I did. I never looked at obesity as a health risk because I was alive. Now that I am more mobile and can breathe, I realize how unhealthy I was. I no longer have to take meds for high blood pressure or for my thyroid.
I honestly hope to someday be able to help out others. I don't want to be an advocate for Gastric Bypass but to be healthy. To know that it isn't going to be easy or an overnight thing and to love yourself while you are doing it.
